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- Written by Tom Blake Tom Blake
In the 30 years I’ve written about senior dating and relationships, I’ve heard from many readers. Recently, five women aired their thoughts about losing love and dealing with the pain. I share them with you today.
Carolyn emailed, “‘Life is for the living!’ We remember the good times and the love we shared with our mate who has passed on, but it is necessary to find another companion.
“I lost my close friend and companion on April 10, 2020. He contracted COVID-19 before authorities knew what was killing people so rapidly.
“I am now seeing a man who is nice, treats me well, buys me flowers and books that I like, and takes me to Broadway shows. He makes me laugh so much. His wife also passed away. He said right off the bat that he didn’t want to remain lonely anymore. Neither did I. We are together.”
Pat wrote, “I was widowed at age 53 in 2000 after 32 years of marriage. The following September my daughter gave birth to identical twin girls. So, I had something to focus on after losing my husband (I was a caregiver for many years, as he had MS).
“When my granddaughters became teenagers, I found I needed more in my life and joined a dating site. I dated two men, each for two years, but I knew there had to be someone out there that I could really connect to. So, I kept at it — it was like a job.
“I recognized the scammers and finally met an honest man who lives 15 minutes from me. He is a widower. We started dating. Now, two years later, we are happy together. I would never have met him if it hadn’t been for the senior-dating website.”
Deanne wrote, “For 33 years I was a party of two. We were the dynamic duo, and the word ‘lonely’ didn’t exist. I just can’t seem to get used to being without someone who was such a big part of me.
“And not having someone to talk to, laugh with, and share life with is the worst pain I’ve experienced because it’s never-ending. This comes from a girl who experienced a Caesarean section with no anesthesia and lived to talk about it. My pain threshold is high, and surgery heals, but I can’t seem to heal my heart.”
Thyrza emailed, “Loneliness is terrible. It has taken me 10 years to get the courage to start looking. My oldest daughter nudged me to give myself a chance.
“I found a man on Match.com. It just takes patience and an open mind to find that person. To me, there is no timeframe in which to find a new relationship. Looking back, I wish I’d had a different mindset then. Ten years is a long time to realize that loneliness sucks. Sooner is better!”
Dee shared, “I understand the need to find love again. I don’t want to just be friends, although it could start that way. At my stage in life, I want warp speed.
“I work late so I don’t have to be home as the sun sets (just too many memories for me). This is not the life I planned, this is not what I could have ever imagined happening, and I want a new beginning.
“I would like to find a special person to walk alongside me, hold my hand, and make me feel good again. And a hug, wow — with that strong arm around me. Yes, I’m truly missing that. If I’m lucky enough, I will kiss loneliness goodbye.”
My best wishes to these five courageous women.
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