- Written by Tom Blake Tom Blake
I admit that I’m a tad uncomfortable writing about senior sex. However, a widower named Greg emailed me with such a poignant message about senior sex and commitment that I’m stepping out of my comfort zone today to share his email with you.
Greg wrote, “I’m in my early 60s and widowed. I am starting my own journey after losing my wife to cancer earlier this year. Together for 44 years and committed to each other since we were teenagers and married soon after college, we were inseparable from the tender age of 17.
“Our relationship started so young, we were the only ones each of us had been intimate with, and we loved and valued that bond.
“She fought cancer hard for five years, and during that long goodbye she made me promise that I would find love again.
“As two people in love with active sex drives, it was difficult for both of us when my wife’s illness prevented any kind of physical intimacy. But sex was only one part of our relationship, and the other parts grew stronger to compensate. My love and commitment toward her were reasons enough for me to put my sexual urges on the backburner as I focused on caring for her.
“After her passing I knew there would be a time when I would resume being sexually active but had no idea when I would feel ready and when I would find a woman I was attracted to.
“It’s a few months after my wife passed, and I am dating a wonderful woman. As you would expect from two healthy adults who are attracted to each other, we have become physically intimate. The attraction is not just physical but also emotional, and we are dating exclusively.
“That required a certain amount of trust from us both, since neither one of us is interested in casual sex and had only known each other for a short time. We are both committed to the relationship and both hopeful it will work in the long term.
“At first, this intimacy was difficult for me as I was feeling guilty and unfaithful, even though I understood I was no longer married. I had always expected I would only have one sexual partner in my life and appreciated that idea, which is rare in the world.
“I will always love my late wife, but I have also come to realize that this does not prevent me from loving someone new.
“For me it was a physical attraction, emotional closeness and trust, and a desire to become intimate with a woman again that allowed me to take the leap.”
Tom’s response: I take my hat off to Greg for such a mature outlook on a sensitive and sincere life experience. His message is a topic many widowed and divorced people will eventually ponder.
I am confident that Greg’s story will help other seniors who are faced with a similar decision of loving and having intimacy again after the loss of a partner. Greg’s story about the guilt he felt will help others deal with that emotion as well.
Greg’s story encouraged me to step outside of my comfort zone and follow my journalistic commitment to reporting on a sensitive senior dating subject that will help older singles find true love again.
For dating information, previous articles, or to sign up for Tom’s complimentary, weekly e-newsletter, go to findingloveafter50.com.