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- Written by Lisa M. Petsche Lisa M. Petsche
Many people consider the holiday season a hectic time, due to the preparations and festivities that typically take place.
Staying sane, not to mention enjoying this special time of the year, is even more of a challenge when you are caring for someone with dementia. If your relative has changed significantly, you may be particularly uneasy about the approaching holidays.
Follow these suggestions to help keep stress manageable for everyone in your household.
Gifts
Shop by mail order, online, or buy gift cards.
Use decorative bags and boxes to streamline wrapping.
Keep presents stored away until it’s time to exchange them.
Be prepared when friends ask for suitable gift ideas for your relative. Suggestions should take into account cognitive and physical limitations.
Decorating
Don’t decorate too far in advance.
Keep decorations minimal and out of reach as much as possible. Forgo anything valuable or fragile.
Avoid lights that flash or play music, and sound- or motion-activated items.
Don’t keep food, such as a gingerbread house, out in the open.
Don’t let extension cords dangle or run across walkways and don’t rearrange furniture.
Steer clear of decorations that could be harmful if ingested.
Entertaining
Whenever possible, entertain at home rather than go out. Familiarity provides comfort.
Prepare guests for your relative’s cognitive and physical functioning and any uncharacteristic behaviors.
Enlist a friend to supervise your relative while you're engaged in hosting duties.
Keep rooms well lit, since shadows may cause confusion and fear. Avoid candles.
Keep music soft and familiar.
Keep gatherings small. Otherwise, situate your relative in a quiet spot and have guests visit one or two at a time.
Instruct guests to introduce themselves to your relative by name and relationship—for example, “I’m Mary, your brother John’s wife.”
Place guests’ coats and handbags in a secure area if your relative is prone to rummaging.
Clean up immediately after entertaining, before your relative has a chance to consume anything that might make them ill.
Before inviting overnight guests, consider how disruptive this might be to your relative’s routines.
Outings
If you accept an invitation, do so on the condition that you may back out if your relative is having a bad day.
Limit the time and ensure there’s a quiet place your relative can retreat to if they can’t handle the stimulation.
Take along medications, adapted dishes and utensils, a bib, extra briefs, and a change of clothes as needed.
Recognize that your relative may not eat as well as they normally do, owing to anxiety or distractions.
Attend an event without your relative, if it’s not feasible to take them with you.
Further Tips
Let family and friends know your needs and limitations.
Share plans with your relative on a need-to-know basis.
Include your relative in simple preparations to make them feel valued.
Share holiday memories. Bring out photo albums or home movies and play favorite seasonal music.
Schedule holiday activities during your relative’s best time of the day. Space them out and try to stick to routines.
Have a plan in place to deal with challenging behaviors that may arise.
Don’t pressure your relative to participate in festivities. Previously enjoyed events may cause distress if they don’t understand the significance or no longer recognize family or friends.
Last, but not least, find something relaxing you can do each day. And do treat yourself to a special gift.
Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker and a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior health matters. She has personal and professional experience with elder care.